 |
| Credit
“Í want to have mixed
babies.” “My child cannot have dark skin.” “Mixed girls have that good hair.”
It’s statements like these that plaster our Tumblr dashboards, are retweeted by
thousands and thought about by millions. The spectrum of what “mixed girls” can
look like is rather wide because let’s face it – everyone doesn’t look like their race. Personally I don’t
believe characteristics determine ones race but when you think about it people
rely on appearance to classify others based on their race, sex, religion, etc.
When I say mixed, I don’t just mean of Black and White decent. There are many
other races that can classify someone as being of mixed races but for the sake
of speaking about the dehumanization of darker features and colorism I will be
focusing my angles on the glamorizing of girls with
lighter features.
I must say that in no
way is this post downplaying the looks of one because that would defeat the
purpose of this post. What I want to do is shine a light on colorism and the
effects it has on the one being fetishist and the one being
dehumanized. Tauri, a biracial girl who is in fact Black and White said,
“Having light skin is a privilege in the Black community so although we experience discomfort and
fetishization, darker skinned-people/girls are the ones who are most negatively
affected by it.” She goes on to say, "Now, as a fair skinned, biracial
person, I would say the impacts of colorism are a major challenge in my life.
But at the end of the day it is nothing in comparison of the degradation of
darker skinned women. My skin, hair, and other features are glorified while
they continue to be threatened and dehumanized for theirs. When jokes are made
about my skin, the punchline is that I don't text back. I can deal with that.
What I won't tolerate however are jokes in which dark skinned women are
compared to animals and made a mockery of." Being
biracial goes beyond having bouncy curls and cream-colored skin. Many people
suffer backlash for not being 100% one race. Many even face identity confusion.
As Tauri puts it, "Growing
up I was constantly going back and forth between cultures trying to figure out
which side I was supposed to be on. It wasn't until way later in my life that I
realized I don't have to be one or the other. I am an imperfect combination of
both and that's okay."
It’s one thing for
people to have a type (Read This:The Difference Between Racism & Preference) and be more attracted to
certain features but I find it creepy and weird when I see people reposting
photos of little children with curly hair and tan skin with captions like, “
She’s lucky she’s a child.” “If my baby doesn’t look like this – I’m killing
myself.” Bruh, you sound like a pedophile – It’s freaking weird. Fact of the
matter is, colorism is discrimination and if you are already part of a
marginalized group you should understand that holding mixed people to a higher
standard because of their physical appearance goes back to the days of slavery.
The children of slaves who were raped by their owners received better treatment
– working in the house and even receiving things that were illegal for Blacks
like education. This twisted systematic belief gives everyone else the power
but us and the simple fact that some of you carry it on says a lot about how
you think about yourself and others.
|
As I See It
1.11.2016 / As I See It, As We See It, opinions
A Mixed Girl Weighs in on the Fetishizing of Mixed Girls
12.18.2015 / As I See It, As We See It, girl power, Lifestyle
#SorryNotSorry: 11 Things Girls Shouldn't Be Sorry For
We shouldn't be sorry for...
1. Having Our Period. It’s not a secret anymore. GIRLS HAVE
PERIODS! We all know what happens. From a young age we endure a week of
bloating, cramps and blood shortage so that we will be able to keep the world
going ‘round.
2. Farting and Pooping. If I have to hear, “Girls don’t fart/poop,” one more time I just might scream. I’m not giving anybody the okay to just go farting around people or not excuse yourself (because that is kind of gross). What I am saying is that is does happen – we’re human too if you haven’t noticed.
3. Our Body. Apparently if you’re an A-cup and you wear a push-up bra it’s considered false advertisement. If you have a little pudge and wear a shaper that’s false advertising as well. Apparently our bodies are marketing strategies and if we don’t show ourselves as is then we’re lying to the world. Advertisements are tactics to sell a product. Since our bodies are not for sale nor a product I guess we're not really false advertising. If you’re so obsessed with a flat stomach and a big butt, why don’t you get your own and leave us alone?
4. Our Hair. Our hair is our hair. How I wear it is my decision. If I want a 22-inch Brazilian weave down to my back- I’ll wear it. If I want to rock a buzz cut, pixie cut or TWA-I will. Hell, if I shaved it all off, rock on! If we really want to talk about hair – you go to the barber to take you from “can I get a hug” to “I’ll take your girl” but that’s none of my business.
5. Being Girly. Yes, I like painting my nails and watching beauty videos. Yes, pink is my favorite color. No I do not care about Call of Duty and no I don’t wear basketball shorts and sneakers everyday. Quite frankly I like being girly and that’s not going to change. Why is it such a bad thing anyway?
6. Wearing Makeup. One, the price of my foundation can fill up your gas tank and two, If you’re stupid enough to think my eyelids are naturally gold and my lips are naturally ruby red then that’s on you buddy. And three, I will never take makeup advice from anyone who can’t tell me where a highlight goes.
7. Our Resting Bitch Face. The only point here is that we’re not going to be smiling all the time like Cheshire cats.
8. Our “Skimpy” Clothing. Because I specifically go to the slutty clothing aisle at Forever 21…. No one is asking for anything by wearing certain clothing. Maybe other people should just learn to control themselves.
9. Being Bossy. If being bossy means that we’re assertive and we won’t let anybody walk all over us then by all means, we are THE BOSS!
10. Rejecting You. We are not obligated to talk to every single
person that wants our number. I am also allowed to be polite and not have it
constantly mistaken for flirtation. Like Chelsea Houska from Teen Mom said,
"I will accept the drinks, but not the d**k."
11. Being A “TOMBOY”. Quite frankly, dresses and pink aren’t everyone’s thing. I am no less of a girl because I like science and flannels #getyourlife
2. Farting and Pooping. If I have to hear, “Girls don’t fart/poop,” one more time I just might scream. I’m not giving anybody the okay to just go farting around people or not excuse yourself (because that is kind of gross). What I am saying is that is does happen – we’re human too if you haven’t noticed.
3. Our Body. Apparently if you’re an A-cup and you wear a push-up bra it’s considered false advertisement. If you have a little pudge and wear a shaper that’s false advertising as well. Apparently our bodies are marketing strategies and if we don’t show ourselves as is then we’re lying to the world. Advertisements are tactics to sell a product. Since our bodies are not for sale nor a product I guess we're not really false advertising. If you’re so obsessed with a flat stomach and a big butt, why don’t you get your own and leave us alone?
4. Our Hair. Our hair is our hair. How I wear it is my decision. If I want a 22-inch Brazilian weave down to my back- I’ll wear it. If I want to rock a buzz cut, pixie cut or TWA-I will. Hell, if I shaved it all off, rock on! If we really want to talk about hair – you go to the barber to take you from “can I get a hug” to “I’ll take your girl” but that’s none of my business.
5. Being Girly. Yes, I like painting my nails and watching beauty videos. Yes, pink is my favorite color. No I do not care about Call of Duty and no I don’t wear basketball shorts and sneakers everyday. Quite frankly I like being girly and that’s not going to change. Why is it such a bad thing anyway?
6. Wearing Makeup. One, the price of my foundation can fill up your gas tank and two, If you’re stupid enough to think my eyelids are naturally gold and my lips are naturally ruby red then that’s on you buddy. And three, I will never take makeup advice from anyone who can’t tell me where a highlight goes.
7. Our Resting Bitch Face. The only point here is that we’re not going to be smiling all the time like Cheshire cats.
8. Our “Skimpy” Clothing. Because I specifically go to the slutty clothing aisle at Forever 21…. No one is asking for anything by wearing certain clothing. Maybe other people should just learn to control themselves.
9. Being Bossy. If being bossy means that we’re assertive and we won’t let anybody walk all over us then by all means, we are THE BOSS!
11. Being A “TOMBOY”. Quite frankly, dresses and pink aren’t everyone’s thing. I am no less of a girl because I like science and flannels #getyourlife
6.14.2015 / As I See It, black skin, black woman feminine, Blogger, brown skin, girl power, interracial relationship, Lifestyle, NYC
How to Talk to A Black Girl
I watch a lot of vlogs on YouTube, most
of who are couples in an interracial relationship. For me, I don’t watch them because they’re interracial – I just
like them and they happen to be. There are always
suggested videos and every time I’m watching a vlog I see things like “How to
Talk to A Black Girl” or something along those lines. Someone usually always
mentions how they’re a different race attracted to Black women but they don’t
know how to approach them. I mean, there
a how-to on Wiki: How to Date A BlackGirl.
Real Life Experience. I was walking on my [old] campus
and a boy stopped me. He needed directions to a certain building so I kindly
told him how to get there. Then he was like, “you’re so nice – I was afraid to
talk to you.” I’m not the type to think that every guy is hitting on me (do
people even say that?) so I smiled and said, “Thank you,” before asking why he
was scared. He said, “Because I see a lot of Black girls and they all look so
mean.” My brain stopped at that moment but I couldn’t let him see that because
that’s too awkward. So I was like, “Why did you come up to me then?” He said, “Because
I saw you smile.” Now, in no way was I offended but I was shocked. I did inform
him that all Black girls are NOT THE SAME. Where I was in a school with rather rambunctious
women, or Birds in Urban terminology I had to let him know that we’re not all
alike.
For starters, I was in a place where some White
people were not really around Black people. They weren’t racist they just weren’t
aware. What they saw was mostly on television and it’s no secret that we don’t
always have the best image in the media. That’s basically stereotyping and to
me, that’s wrong. Even if you see something or hear something pertaining to
someone of a certain race that was only one person. One person does not
represent a race. Nobody represents a race. You represent yourself. So, how to
talk to a Black girl? Be Yourself. Just like any other girl, you either get want you wanted or you don't. That doesn't change because of her race.
I promise you this Black girl is not of a
different species, actually, she’s human – woah! Shocker! Talk to her as you
would any other girl. With respect.
“est.since1997 @teenvogue you guys don't even
include all of the different curl types and this is the issue. It’s really
annoying. You guys exclude people with naturally kinky/curly hair. Our hair
type is still considered curls too so there is no reason why we should be
excluded from the cypher. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and still
reads Teen Vogue Magazine. The young girls who have kinky/curly hair will feel
like their hair is not appreciated in society. We already have that now but
reading this makes the issue really stand out. It points out that our hair is
undesirable. Next time, how about you guys include #EVERYONE that has
natural curls. If the #editors
haven't realized it that includes coily, kinky and loose curls.”
Jesus Christ,these magazines have no clue what they're
talking about. Can someone tell me why they keep using celebrities with curly
weave to represent natural hair? I mean I know natural hair is a wide range to
cover but it's about time they get like 2 or 3 girls with different natural
hair types to share their advice. In 2012, the natural hair trend wasn't as
popular as it is now which gave them enough time to jump on the bandwagon. Now
when Seventeen does put out natural hair advice it's always girls with loose
curls. It is so rare that I see a girl with an Angela Davis afro. This is one
of the main reasons I started blogging - because of the lack of representation.
I get that magazines have to pertain to a certain audience (White girls) but
you are a huge publication. Girls from all background, skin colors and hair
textures read your magazine. It would be nice to see something that I can actually
do. And no, don't tell me to read Essence or Jet because I am a teenager and I
need help for prom and my first internship (no shade on Essence or Jet).
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy reading
these magazines and they’re great publications but when I open the page, I find
a sea of photos targeted towards girl's whose hair cascades down their back
like a waterfall. For some of us our hair stands are closer to the tall
sunflower family. We try to re-create the styles to our best ability but just
end up in pure frustration and disappointment. In the November 2012
issue of Teen Vogue, star hairstylist James Pecis said, “Some girls fight their
texture so much that they’re just destroying their hair.” Well we are not those
girls, and if we can embrace our natural texture why can’t the magazines do it
too? It’s bad enough that curly hair is rarely represented, but when it is it
always seems to be a model with bouncy curls and no trace of a kink or coil. It
looks like stereotypical European hair that has been curled with an iron.
All I’m saying is that by neglecting
a huge demographic they’re hurting us and themselves. They’re missing out
on the beauty and empowering message behind ethnic natural hair. James
also said, “You can create amazing shapes and styles with textured hair that
you can’t do with straight hair. Embrace It!” Well, Mr. Pecis, I couldn't agree
more.
2.18.2015 / As I See It, Lifestyle
Separation in the Natural Hair Community
Among the many
beautiful photos that I post on the Instagram page something started to jump out at
me. It seemed like the photos with longer, straightened or curlier natural hair
were getting more likes than those with shorter, kinkier and less defined hair.
I couldn't help but think: is there separation in the natural hair community?
I decided to do a bit
of a social experiment. Using the IG page, I posted a photo with a woman
sporting medium length locs. Directly after, I posted a photo of a girl with
waist length, curly locs. It seemed like more people favored the long locs.
Within 40 minutes the long locs received 88 likes and the other was stuck at 23
for days. Besides hair, there was something else that jumped out at me.
It seemed like the
girls with lighter skin complexions received more likes than those with darker
skin. I posted a photo of a girl with long, curly hair and a fair complexion.
Instagram notifications blew up with 150 likes within 20 minutes. Afterwards, I
posted a photo of a girl with the same hair length but a darker skin tone; that
photo received 50 less likes. Both had beautiful long and curly hair but
different skin colors. Could it be that women with lighter skin are still seen
as being more beautiful? Even in the hair community?
I feel like there is
in fact a separation in the hair community. The longer or the curlier the hair
is equivalents to the attractiveness. Women tend to admire beautiful long hair
sported by Naptural85 and HeyFranHey rather than the short hair they are
starting with. Unknowingly, ladies compare and yearn for the beautiful mane
that will validate their beauty. My number one hair rule is to not compare your
hair. By comparing yourself to someone else you are self-speculating.
Self-speculation can lead to a decrease in confidence and I do not want that
for anyone. It's fine to like someone's hair or even have hair crushes but it
becomes a problem when you begin to love your hair less.
At this point it is
no secret that most people are unknowingly more attracted to someone with
longer hair or lighter skin. Trends like #TeamNatural or #TeamRelaxed prove
that we separate ourselves from one another. A contradiction is what I call it.
We start wearing our hair in it's natural state to be closer to who we are and
not what society wants us to be yet we break ourselves down even further
2.22.2014 / As I See It, As We See It, Lifestyle, News and Politics
Ithaca College Students Say Africa is Not A Country
 |
| Left to Right: Events Planner: Natasha Kirabo; Advertising Chair: Makda Getachew; Vice President: Kobby Lartey; Public Relations Chair: Rita Bunatal; (Fall 2013) Treasurer: Fiyin Adeyemo; President: Arit Ntekim. |
Hey There,
It's quite funny that I engaged in my own rant about African stereotypes seconds before someone sent me a link via Instagram. The link took me to a Facebook page made for a university organization. At first, I thought that it must have been a mistake; after all I didn't even go to Ithaca College. After spending a few more seconds scrolling, I found out that that the African Students Association at Ithaca College created a very interesting photo campaign. The students were fighting-fighting the stereotypes that have been placed on Africa and its people for years.
Q&A with the African Student Association from Ithaca College
What are some of the most common African stereotypes that you have personally faced?
- We have been asked if we speak "African", sometimes we hear people referring to our continent as poor, with a land filled with diseases, etc.
Where do you think this ignorance comes from?
- We believe that this ignorance comes from the misinformation given in the media, as well as the miseducation in institutions. We are hardly ever taught about the history of the continent in primary or secondary institutions in the U.S. And if we were ever to discuss the continent in class, there would be about 3 pages in the textbook 'covering' this topic, when in actuality, you'd need hundreds of books to really cover the histories of the vast continent.
- We believe that this ignorance comes from the misinformation given in the media, as well as the miseducation in institutions. We are hardly ever taught about the history of the continent in primary or secondary institutions in the U.S. And if we were ever to discuss the continent in class, there would be about 3 pages in the textbook 'covering' this topic, when in actuality, you'd need hundreds of books to really cover the histories of the vast continent.
Why did you feel the need to create this campaign?
- We felt the need to do this campaign because we were tired of people asking us these questions, and we also wanted to help paint a more positive image of our continent.
- We felt the need to do this campaign because we were tired of people asking us these questions, and we also wanted to help paint a more positive image of our continent.
What would your ideal outcome be from this campaign?
- Our ideal outcome would to be for people to continue educating themselves through these photos, and we hope to spark discussions as well as create a dialogue as to why these misconceptions exist.
All Photo Credits: IC African Students Association / Via Facebook.com | Photographer: Thiri Mariah Boucher
- Our ideal outcome would to be for people to continue educating themselves through these photos, and we hope to spark discussions as well as create a dialogue as to why these misconceptions exist.
All Photo Credits: IC African Students Association / Via Facebook.com | Photographer: Thiri Mariah Boucher
Stay Beautiful,
Sarah
1.18.2014 / As I See It, As We See It, Home
It's 2014 & You're Still a Virgin?
“Okay, you’ve proved your point now
buss it open!” Yes, somebody actually posted this on Instagram on New Year’s
Eve. I think my eye roll lasted for about a full four seconds. At a spoken word
event a guy said in front of everybody, “I don’t like virgins.” Yeah, that was
a jaw dropper for me too.
How dare you ridicule someone on
their life choices? People have many reasons that they don’t want to "Do
the deed." There could have been something traumatic that happened. Some
people are close to the values they were brought up with and want to stick with
it. Some people just haven’t found the right person. The list can go on.
Being a virgin or not should not be
someone’s label. Just like being gay, a girl or a person of color should not be
your definition. Why should your jaw drop if someone is a virgin and why should
your face scrunch if one isn't? I’ve come to find out that college kids are sex
crazed. Everywhere I turn I hear, “I’d hit that” or “She looks like a virgin.”
I just sit there thinking, “Please shut up.” I see why people lie about it. It’s
all about fitting in. People want to save themselves from being an outcast.
People and society have made us so self-conscience of sex and virginity.Girls are too scared to say they are virgins so they don't look like prudes. Yet, they are also scared to be called hoes. Guys act like they screwed every girl in the class just to seem as if they were cool. Well I say screw what other people think. Do what you want and what you feel. Don't look for your worth in someone else. If they are not respectful enough to adhere and understand your decisions maybe there is no sense in wasting your time with them at all.
People and society have made us so self-conscience of sex and virginity.Girls are too scared to say they are virgins so they don't look like prudes. Yet, they are also scared to be called hoes. Guys act like they screwed every girl in the class just to seem as if they were cool. Well I say screw what other people think. Do what you want and what you feel. Don't look for your worth in someone else. If they are not respectful enough to adhere and understand your decisions maybe there is no sense in wasting your time with them at all.
Just like choosing not to smoke, praying or wearing a hijab are life choices, so is losing or keeping your virginity. I've had people look at me strangely when I say I pray and that the smell of weed makes me gag. I could care less because they don't know me. Look at it this way; If they choose to define you that is their problem. You know who you are and why you do what you do.
8.15.2013 / As I See It, As We See It, feminine, femininity, girl power, Home
Women: The Future Sluts of Tomorrow
I watched a channel
called Whatever. Being open to all categories of YouTube videos (appropriate
for my eyes of course) I decided to take a look. I settled on a social
experiment video called “Asking 100 Girls for Sex.”
The entire purpose of the video was to see how many ladies would agree to have sex with a random guy. Ultimately not one girl out of the 100 said yes. Some were highly confused, taken back or offended to the point of throwing a drink in the guys’ face. I know that if I was in that situation, I would be highly disgusted and quite confused. My first thought would be: PREDETOR (I’m sure you’re going to be on Dateline) ALERT!
The guy was not straight forward. You would have never known what was coming. He started the conversation casually asking how the girls were. A normal girl would have thought that he was going to ask for their number. But no, this was no regular “picking up girls” moment - it was a social experiment that was being recorded by someone behind a camera across the street. He then proceeded to ask for sex. Every time, the answer resulted in a flat out no. There was a prequel where the situation was reversed. Now it was a girls’ turn to ask random guys for sex. Shocker here, most of the guys said yes. They were more than eager to “tap that.”
I got to thinking: How are females the so-called sluts if guys are the ones who are ready to jump on the chance for free sex? According to Google a slut is a slovenly or promiscuous woman. Now let’s look up “promiscuous.” According to Google, promiscuous means a person who has many sexual relationships. *pause* Are females the only human species on earth that are promiscuous? We both know the answer to that question. A guy can go out and fool around (and be promiscuous) with whoever and come back to a sea of high fives and kudos. The minute a woman decides she wants to express her sexuality she is faced with rejection, a personalized definition of herself on the internet and ultimately slut-shaming. In some countries a woman can experience things like being disowned to being publicly stoned or humiliated.
Of course not all guys and gals are like this or think this way but it’s quite unfortunate that we live in a world of double standards. We’re still fighting for our right to express ourselves. I don’t think it is okay that our society promotes hypocrisy. We say it is okay to sleep around-but only for guys. We constantly remind a girl that she is considered a whore even if she shows the least bit of cleavage. Yet, a guy can walk around all day without a shirt on and not be critiqued. What if I wanted to feel the breeze too?
Bottom line is, don’t feel the need to hide your sexuality or who you are. And to all the people who feel the need to judge someone else by what they do or what they wear ask yourself this: Am I perfect?
The entire purpose of the video was to see how many ladies would agree to have sex with a random guy. Ultimately not one girl out of the 100 said yes. Some were highly confused, taken back or offended to the point of throwing a drink in the guys’ face. I know that if I was in that situation, I would be highly disgusted and quite confused. My first thought would be: PREDETOR (I’m sure you’re going to be on Dateline) ALERT!
The guy was not straight forward. You would have never known what was coming. He started the conversation casually asking how the girls were. A normal girl would have thought that he was going to ask for their number. But no, this was no regular “picking up girls” moment - it was a social experiment that was being recorded by someone behind a camera across the street. He then proceeded to ask for sex. Every time, the answer resulted in a flat out no. There was a prequel where the situation was reversed. Now it was a girls’ turn to ask random guys for sex. Shocker here, most of the guys said yes. They were more than eager to “tap that.”
I got to thinking: How are females the so-called sluts if guys are the ones who are ready to jump on the chance for free sex? According to Google a slut is a slovenly or promiscuous woman. Now let’s look up “promiscuous.” According to Google, promiscuous means a person who has many sexual relationships. *pause* Are females the only human species on earth that are promiscuous? We both know the answer to that question. A guy can go out and fool around (and be promiscuous) with whoever and come back to a sea of high fives and kudos. The minute a woman decides she wants to express her sexuality she is faced with rejection, a personalized definition of herself on the internet and ultimately slut-shaming. In some countries a woman can experience things like being disowned to being publicly stoned or humiliated.
Of course not all guys and gals are like this or think this way but it’s quite unfortunate that we live in a world of double standards. We’re still fighting for our right to express ourselves. I don’t think it is okay that our society promotes hypocrisy. We say it is okay to sleep around-but only for guys. We constantly remind a girl that she is considered a whore even if she shows the least bit of cleavage. Yet, a guy can walk around all day without a shirt on and not be critiqued. What if I wanted to feel the breeze too?
Bottom line is, don’t feel the need to hide your sexuality or who you are. And to all the people who feel the need to judge someone else by what they do or what they wear ask yourself this: Am I perfect?
7.31.2013 / As I See It, As We See It, black women, Blogger, girl power
What He Thinks About Your Natural Hair
 |
| Tauri with her boyfriend Jamaal |
“He loves my hair -
he hates it.” It’s a statement that I have heard all too many times. Whether
you rock protective styling, relaxer or natural hair, guys seem to always have
their own opinion on our hair. I guess it’s fair being that we girls also have
our opinions on their appearance too. Some love the nappy look whereas some
prefer the straight silky look. I was lucky enough to get a chance to talk to
some naturalistas whose hair choice plays a significant role in their present
and past relationships.
Janay has been in a 2 and 1/2 year relationship with her boyfriend August. Janay says that being in a relationship with her boyfriend definitely influences her hair decisions. She says, “If I’m going to visit him at school, I’ll straighten it because I know he likes it. When he mentions that he likes a [natural] style, I take it into account and I’ll do my hair like that more often.” August said, “I think it (natural hair) is nice. But I don’t like natural hair on all girls.” Like many others, August does not believe that some of the natural hairstyles fit everyone. I believe that it is okay to let your significant other influence your hair in a way. You’ll know what appeals to them and you can wear it when they least expect it to surprise them (especially on date night).
I asked other ladies what their significant other thought about their hair. I received answers from “he loved it” to “he hated it.” Tikia had one of the greatest support systems that I have read about. He did her big chop! “My boyfriend was actually the one who encouraged me to go natural. I passed him the clippers and he chopped it off,” said Tikia.
Kendrea, 30, did
not have the same support from the beginning. “He didn’t like it at first, he
was upset when I came out with my hair cut off.” This sucks, but it is the
reality. Everybody will not like our hair as much as we would like them to.
Luckily, Kendrea’s mate came around, “Now he takes pride in telling anyone who
asks about my hair that it’s ‘all mine’.”
When I asked Joshua, 23, his thoughts
on girls with natural hair, he said, “More power to them! It’s nice to see
girls that realize that they don’t need to be fake in order to be beautiful.”
Like me, Joshua is “a little iffy when girls don’t at least attempt to keep
their hair neat.” Brittni’s boyfriend has grown so attached to her hair that he
calls it “his puff.” How funny is that?
Sometimes the significant other doesn’t like your hair. For Alexsa, 19, her hair was a make or break deal. It was what got her noticed by her now ex-boyfriend. She was in an interracial relationship and he made it clear to her that her hair was the first thing that he noticed. She loved the way he would untangle her afro (we all wish we had that extra hand when detangling) at night. Sadly, he broke up with her after her hair got damaged and she decided to big chop. But that did not lessen her confidence, her fro is back and as she says, “I’m much more fabulous!”
The diva-ness continues with Tauri. Tauri’s hair is one of her boyfriend’s favorite parts of her. He’s constantly playing with her hair. Where a lot of ladies will ninja slap you before they let you touch their hair, Tauri enjoys it. It gives her a sense of comfort and security. To girls who struggle with their hair in their relationship, Tauri says, “If the person you’re with isn’t supportive of your natural beauty then why are you with them?”
The same way people choose to express themselves with their fashion is the same way that our hair reflects our personality. Whether you’re a wild child and sport your hair in a cray cray fro, retro with box braids or conservative with a bun the way we rock our hair represents us and our style. When somebody is telling us not to do this or that with your hair it is as if they are taking away a piece of who we are. Just like snowflakes no two guys are alike. You may encounter some who like it and some who don’t. Always remember: ‘Fros before ‘Bros because you are your own mirror.
Sometimes the significant other doesn’t like your hair. For Alexsa, 19, her hair was a make or break deal. It was what got her noticed by her now ex-boyfriend. She was in an interracial relationship and he made it clear to her that her hair was the first thing that he noticed. She loved the way he would untangle her afro (we all wish we had that extra hand when detangling) at night. Sadly, he broke up with her after her hair got damaged and she decided to big chop. But that did not lessen her confidence, her fro is back and as she says, “I’m much more fabulous!”
The diva-ness continues with Tauri. Tauri’s hair is one of her boyfriend’s favorite parts of her. He’s constantly playing with her hair. Where a lot of ladies will ninja slap you before they let you touch their hair, Tauri enjoys it. It gives her a sense of comfort and security. To girls who struggle with their hair in their relationship, Tauri says, “If the person you’re with isn’t supportive of your natural beauty then why are you with them?”
The same way people choose to express themselves with their fashion is the same way that our hair reflects our personality. Whether you’re a wild child and sport your hair in a cray cray fro, retro with box braids or conservative with a bun the way we rock our hair represents us and our style. When somebody is telling us not to do this or that with your hair it is as if they are taking away a piece of who we are. Just like snowflakes no two guys are alike. You may encounter some who like it and some who don’t. Always remember: ‘Fros before ‘Bros because you are your own mirror.
7.24.2013 / As I See It, As We See It, Lifestyle
CurlKit Featured| Natural Hair: A Fad or Something Deeper?
 |
| Credit |
I get so excited knowing that more and more young people are “going natural.” Then I come across videos of girls saying that they went back to their relaxer; saying that they, “Just couldn't do it.” Sometimes I can’t help but think if they really thought their decision through or if they just followed everyone else. Natural hair is not something that you just pick up and think it will be easy. You can’t go into the journey thinking that your hair will grow to your back in a day. If you've grown up with a relaxer in your hair for almost your entire life, it really is a tough decision. You have to get accustomed to the new texture, the new maintenance and fighting off the haters.
To some, it is just a trend that needs to be tried but to others kinky hair is a reminder of inner artistry, roots and strength. An Afro was not always as accepted as it is now. The “Afro” look was a rebellious look in the 1960s and 1970s. Black women and men wore this hairdo to reject the need to look “white” by applying hair straighteners. If we go way back, the texture of our hair was equivalent to the reason many people have darker skin-to protect us from the heat and humidity in some African countries.
I asked friends and fellow beauties on Facebook what they thought about the natural hair movement. My close friend (and transitioner) Jennifer Lima said, "I got a perm because it was "necessary". As I grow up, I am taking charge of my hair. As my hair transitions, I am also transitioning into the woman I want to become." For Jennifer, it was not a fad. It is not as deep as a spiritual journey but she does see her hair transition as the beginning of a new road in her life. Gail said, "For me it is not a fad. That is like asking me if my skin color is a fad. I was born with it (natural hair) and I am sticking with it." Ladon sees the gray area of it all. She says," There is no definite answer to the question. People go natural for many different reasons." It was enticing to read comments of people who connected their hair journey with a thoughtful meaning. It was even interesting to read the comments of people who thought that this movement was a fad equivalent to the Silly Bandz craze.
Personally, I went natural to build my hair strength. It was weak, thin and damaged from years of being chemically straightened. I went natural for one reason, but along the way I found a deeper meaning. As a teenage girl (a teenage African-American), I am surrounded by images of people who do not resemble me. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad but there needs to be more diversity when it comes to mainstream beauty. Being a naturalista led me to start my own project and pass confidence and originality along to other teens and young ladies like myself.
So now I ask you: is natural hair a fad or something deeper?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
