What He Thinks About Your Natural Hair

Tauri with her boyfriend Jamaal

“He loves my hair - he hates it.” It’s a statement that I have heard all too many times. Whether you rock protective styling, relaxer or natural hair, guys seem to always have their own opinion on our hair. I guess it’s fair being that we girls also have our opinions on their appearance too. Some love the nappy look whereas some prefer the straight silky look. I was lucky enough to get a chance to talk to some naturalistas whose hair choice plays a significant role in their present and past relationships.

Janay has been in a 2 and 1/2 year relationship with her boyfriend August. Janay says that being in a relationship with her boyfriend definitely influences her hair decisions. She says, “If I’m going to visit him at school, I’ll straighten it because I know he likes it. When he mentions that he likes a [natural] style, I take it into account and I’ll do my hair like that more often.” August said, “I think it (natural hair) is nice. But I don’t like natural hair on all girls.” Like many others, August does not believe that some of the natural hairstyles fit everyone. I believe that it is okay to let your significant other influence your hair in a way. You’ll know what appeals to them and you can wear it when they least expect it to surprise them (especially on date night).

I asked other ladies what their significant other thought about their hair. I received answers from “he loved it” to “he hated it.” Tikia had one of the greatest support systems that I have read about. He did her big chop! “My boyfriend was actually the one who encouraged me to go natural. I passed him the clippers and he chopped it off,” said Tikia.
Kendrea, 30, did not have the same support from the beginning. “He didn’t like it at first, he was upset when I came out with my hair cut off.” This sucks, but it is the reality. Everybody will not like our hair as much as we would like them to. Luckily, Kendrea’s mate came around, “Now he takes pride in telling anyone who asks about my hair that it’s ‘all mine’.”
When I asked Joshua, 23, his thoughts on girls with natural hair, he said, “More power to them! It’s nice to see girls that realize that they don’t need to be fake in order to be beautiful.” Like me, Joshua is “a little iffy when girls don’t at least attempt to keep their hair neat.” Brittni’s boyfriend has grown so attached to her hair that he calls it “his puff.” How funny is that?

Sometimes the significant other doesn’t like your hair. For Alexsa, 19, her hair was a make or break deal. It was what got her noticed by her now ex-boyfriend. She was in an interracial relationship and he made it clear to her that her hair was the first thing that he noticed. She loved the way he would untangle her afro (we all wish we had that extra hand when detangling) at night. Sadly, he broke up with her after her hair got damaged and she decided to big chop. But that did not lessen her confidence, her fro is back and as she says, “I’m much more fabulous!”

The diva-ness continues with Tauri. Tauri’s hair is one of her boyfriend’s favorite parts of her. He’s constantly playing with her hair. Where a lot of ladies will ninja slap you before they let you touch their hair, Tauri enjoys it. It gives her a sense of comfort and security. To girls who struggle with their hair in their relationship, Tauri says, “If the person you’re with isn’t supportive of your natural beauty then why are you with them?”

The same way people choose to express themselves with their fashion is the same way that our hair reflects our personality. Whether you’re a wild child and sport your hair in a cray cray fro, retro with box braids or conservative with a bun the way we rock our hair represents us and our style. When somebody is telling us not to do this or that with your hair it is as if they are taking away a piece of who we are. Just like snowflakes no two guys are alike. You may encounter some who like it and some who don’t. Always remember: ‘Fros before ‘Bros because you are your own mirror.

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